


Alright

by sixtieshairdo



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alex is torn, Angst, Darwin Lives, M/M, Reunion, Rough Sex, Shifting perspectives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-24
Updated: 2012-03-24
Packaged: 2017-11-02 11:11:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/368341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixtieshairdo/pseuds/sixtieshairdo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darwin returns. Alex doesn't know how to react to that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alright

He pauses in his tracks, a little unsure if he hears correctly. He turns to face slightly reddened cheeks and almost-frightened eyes.

He makes Alex repeat himself. 

Breathless and hoarse, Alex does.

"I said, I want you to fuck me."

His nerves feel like they are on fire. 

He nods. 

"Alright."

...

Ever since he returned, Alex has been all push and pull. Sure, bursting into a million barely microscopic fragments hurt a bitch, but he never once blamed Alex. Accumulating himself took longer than he would have liked - _two fucking years_ , man - and regaining his memory and strength took up even more time.

Erik, strangely enough, was the one who found him and took him in. It was pretty fancy, Erik's hideout - black and red and purple every inch of the space - and he realized that Erik was the new mutant force to be reckoned with, now that Shaw was no longer around. Almost immediately, however, he knew this wasn't where he wanted to be.

When Erik pinned him to the wall with a metal rod, he couldn't really blame the guy.

"What does Charles have in that miserable school of his that I don't have here? You want training? I could train you better, to be stronger, push you to be more powerful than he ever could."

It would be easier to reply if the air wasn't being squeezed out of him, but he managed a word.

"Alex."

The rod fell to the floor, startled.

Erik's face was unreadable - Darwin blamed the helmet for being distracting - but something akin to fondness crept into those eyes. When that metal helmet slipped off his head, Erik ran a hand through his hair, almost thoughtful. The silence in the air was thick with questions but Erik's faraway look soon broke into a hint of a smile.

He slid the helmet on once more.

"Fine. You can leave. But not now."

...

Before anything happens, Alex makes him promise not to use his mutation. Surprised and a little speechless, he agrees.

...

Erik gave him a room to stay in, food to eat, and clothes to change into. He also made Darwin promise not to make an attempt at escape. Should he do so, Erik would not hesitate to kill him.

...

Alex's mouth tastes like desperation. Everything about this is painful.

He wants to take it slow - sex is a journey, never a destination - but Alex seems keen on getting _hurt_. He manages to pin Alex's wrists above his head, pulling himself just beyond Alex's reach. Those blue eyes widen with thinly-veiled surprise and quickly-rising anger.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

He straddles Alex, refusing to let up on the hold he has on those twisting wrists.

"You're bleeding, dammit."

Alex licks his bruised bottom lip, eyes flashing again, breathing growing heavier.

"I can take it. _Fuck me_."

He wants to, really, really wants to, but he can't bring himself to do it the way Alex wants.

"Not like this."

He's not sure what happens next - intense heat burning his fingertips, Alex's wrists free from his capture, a laugh and a flash of blue - but their positions switch and he is on his back, with blonde hair in his face as Alex tugs his ear hard with teeth.

" _Exactly_ like this."

...

Being captive in Erik's lair wasn't half-bad, if he was being honest with himself. Erik's clearly changed but he was not unkind to him. The other mutants were not allowed to converse with him and vice versa. He only caught brief glimpses of someone familiar but always in the form of a blue skinned mutant who didn't linger long around him. 

The only thing that seemed confusing initially were the randomly placed attacks.

Knives flying at his face in the middle of breakfast? Check. 

Molten steel raining on him when he was out on a walk? Check.

Needles stabbing at him when he was taking a nap? Check.

He figured that Erik was either trying to kill him or train him. The bastard was never within sight whenever any of these attacks happened which signalled to Darwin just how precise Erik was with his mutation. 

Nevertheless, he appreciated the torture. It only made his reactive adaptation that much easier to control. 

Every night, he held on to the hope that he would find Alex soon.

...

He shouldn't be finding pleasure in this, but hot damn, Alex is tight around his cock and it's so good it's blinding him.

Somewhere along the way - between the clothes coming off and Alex's deep-throating him - Darwin realizes that Alex is riding him dry. By the looks and sounds of it, Alex is enjoying the self-inflicted pain. He digs his fingers onto Alex's hips, trying to slow him down but clearly only making him ride him harder, deeper.

Unable to use his mutation, he feels both helpless and on a constant adrenalin rush. Being trained under Erik means he is always on guard, his senses have never been this keen, his adaptive skills quicker than ever before. Yet, here in Alex's creaking bed, he has to reign in that natural instinct and withhold his body's tendency to react to every possible danger.

The danger here, of course, is that someone might get seriously hurt if Alex keeps riding his cock like that.

Watching Alex over him, he feels a sense of awe building inside. 

Removing his grip from Alex's hips, he trails fingertips up that muscular torso, running his thumbs over the taut skin on Alex's collarbone.

Something in that gesture causes Alex to look down, to _look_ at him, and with a heart-wrenching choke, Alex comes.

...

"I hate to say this but I think I have to let you go now."

"Really? I can go?"

"Unless you've changed your mind, of course. I could use someone like you in the Brotherhood."

"I've told you once and I'll say it again. It's not a choice between you and Charles. It's Alex I'm looking for."

"Fine then. Azazel will take you back. Charles is waiting for you."

And before he could say goodbye or thank you, he's transported to Charles' castle of a school.

...

He's laying still in bed, right by Alex's sleeping form, feeling quite out of his depth.

Alex had fallen asleep quickly after his orgasm, rolling off Darwin and onto the empty pillow. 

Studying the sated expression on Alex's face, Darwin has no idea what the protocol is for the sex they just had. If he had to choose, he would very much like to stay in bed till morning, waking up with Alex and perhaps even indulge in a shower together.

But Alex is hard to read. It is plausible that he might get kicked out of bed the next morning should Alex not want him there.

Even in the dark, he could make out the cut on Alex's lip, softly swollen and red. He wonders how much of Alex's skin had his mark on it. A part of him begins to worry. Something was definitely bothering Alex. 

He'd be damned if he didn't find out what.

...

The first thing he saw when he arrived at Charles' school was the wheelchair.

Charles was not the same bright-eyed man Darwin remembered. Those eyes were wiser, darker, sadder now.

However, the hand that reached out to shake his was firm and confident, not unlike the genuine smile that greeted him.

The next thing that caught his attention was the deep bark of a once familiar laugh. He turned his head towards the direction of the sound, catching sight of the boy he remembered, only now he was looking at a man, much leaner, and even more angular, than before. Alex was on the ground, a couple of kids trying to pull away a ball from his hands, but he must have noticed he was being watched because he looked up at Darwin and everything about that smile and that light around him disappeared, swallowed into what felt a lot like fear.

...

Their first conversation was painfully awkward.

He came back for Alex, and only Alex, but it felt like he was unwanted around here. Sean and Hank were happy enough to see him - and _fucking hell_ , Hank looked every inch a beast - and Charles was nothing more than warm and welcoming, but Alex.

Alex spoke to him as though he were still dead.

Those eyes that once held him fondly refused to meet his own. They studied his hands hard, looked away even harder. Alex told him that he was glad to see him alive once more but Darwin could not find it in him to believe that.

When he reached out a hand to touch Alex, he only felt fire. 

A hasty retreat was the friendliest response he received from Alex. 

...

He could not sleep properly that night. The collision between their bodies did not match the way he had imagined it to be. A part of him worries he might wake up to another sexual assault - he wasn't worried about himself, no, he was frightened Alex might hurt himself more. A larger part of him wants to watch Alex wake up, defences down and inhibitions weak.

He wants to run his fingers through Alex's hair and not be met with rejection.

When Alex's eyes flicker open, eyelashes softly parting sleepy eyelids, Darwin holds his breath as his hand ventures forward.

...

"It's my fault."

"It's not. Shaw did that to me, not you."

"It was _my_ energy, Darwin. My damaging, irresponsible, good-for-nothing mutation. Me."

"Hey now, you forgot made you do that? _I_ did, Alex. _It was me_. I made you do that. And Shaw, he was -"

"Stop. Just. Stop."

He took two steps towards Alex, whose immediate reaction was to back himself against the wall.

"Darwin, don't."

"You can't hurt me anymore. I swear to God, Alex. You can't."

His palm made contact with Alex's wet cheek and his heart soared when he felt Alex lean into his touch.

Tentative but desperate, he urged Alex's chin up with his thumb so their mouths could fit, and for a minute, everything felt like the dream he always had - kissing Alex and holding him and feeling their bodies thrum with racing heartbeats. 

Alex was kissing him back when suddenly he felt those hands that were once pulling him close, shove him away, hard.

Running feet took Alex out of the room, leaving Darwin breathless and more than a little torn inside.

...

Alex appeared unexpectedly to him one day when he had just finished running his laps.

Darwin did not miss the sweep of those ice-blue eyes over his naked torso.

He nodded at Alex noncommittally, dragging the back of his hand across his sweaty brow as he took quick strides towards the mansion. He'd been here sixty days and every one of them had been confusing and hurtful and always a chase to pull Alex back to him.

It was about time that he stopped and let nature take its due course. He'd already spent two years of his life reassembling himself. Patience was his middle name.

Though he was no telepath, he could feel the burn of Alex's eyes trained on his back.

"I want you to fuck me."

Out of the spectrum of things he'd expected Alex to say, this wasn't even grazing the horizon.

He pauses in his tracks, a little unsure if he heard correctly. He turned to face slightly reddened cheeks and almost-frightened eyes.

He made Alex repeat himself. 

Breathless and hoarse, Alex did.

"I said, I want you to fuck me."

His nerves felt like they were on fire. 

He nodded.

"Alright."

...

Alex is bruised and battered and not just physically. He could care less about his body.

He had intended for the sex to hurt. He had wanted it to burn into his skin and tear his seams apart. He knew that he needed to see marks on his body before he could allow anything better to happen between them. 

Every morning, for the past two years, he had to face his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were hollowed out holes that loathed the sight ahead of them. 

_Murderer._

_Freak._

_Dangerous._

_Hopeless._

_Unloved._

_Killer._

_Murderer._

_Murderer._

_MURDERER._

Every night, for the past two years, he had slept face down, hoping to suffocate in his sleep, the tears eventually drying out but the ache pounding through his chest never fading, never waning.

So when Darwin walked back into his life, claiming half the blame onto himself and pushing the rest onto Shaw, it didn't feel right. It didn't feel fair.

It was his own damaging energy that had killed Darwin.

It was his fault.

And seeing Darwin back feels like a ton of bricks falling on his head. At the same time, his body seemed to have restless energy building up inside. He _wants_ Darwin. In every way possible. He wants his friend back. He wants their easy conversations and laughs. He wants to be able to punch Darwin in the arm one second and pull him down for a kiss the next. He wants to surrender himself in bed without guilt or hurt. He wants-

A single finger traces the curve of his cheek.

He finds himself breaking into a smile.

_He wants this._

Just. 

Darwin alive and here and open and _his_.

He finds himself slipping forward, tucking himself under that gentle chin.

He feels sure arms wrap around him, pulling him close.

Silence curls around them; a comfortable cloud settling on their skin.

It feels like a thousand moments passed before he hears Darwin whisper.

"Please don't hurt yourself anymore. I can't love you like this."

He presses a kiss on Darwin's chest, tears prickling his eyes.

"Alright."


End file.
